The Avengers (2012)

I know this movie came out four years ago. But I had to think about it for a while. The thing is, I’m not an expert in the Marvel Universe, or the DC Universe, or really any universe at all, including the one we live in. I still call Jeremy Renner’s character “The Arrow Guy.” Also, I always call Falcon “The Hawk.”

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He does look pretty evil though. Photo from Fandom at Wikia.com

I rewatched this movie recently and it inspired me to start a new blog called “Handsome Men in Stupid Headgear.” I’m not really going to do it, but I was inspired anyway. Tom Hiddleston? Super handsome. Tom Hiddleston in a huge golden helmet with horns sticking out of it? Super goofy.

Also, I like Joss Whedon because I just really like “Firefly,” so I feel I should talk up everything he does so he can stay in business and come up with more Firefly-type things (because my opinion is SO important to everyone in the entertainment industry).

And that is what I think of this movie.


 

 

Suicide Squad (2016)

 

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Image from comicbookmovie.com.

Alright, it’s time for my review of “Suicide Squad.”

We all know that the critics have panned this thing. To paraphrase a character from the movie, they want to put it in a hole, and throw away the hole. I would summarize the complaints as: This movie makes no sense, the continuity is off, and it’s depressing. There is also my favorite description, from the Wall Street Journal, which states that the movie “is trash.”

To all that I say, “So what?” For crap’s sake, it’s a superhero movie. It doesn’t need to make a lot of sense. It just needs to make a little sense, and it does. Continuity- who cares? It’s just a bunch of crazy people running around fighting, and those people happen to be fun to watch. I could probably watch that cast paint a house and watch it dry and I could still have at least a little bit of fun. Depressing? Yeah, it’s gloomy, just like every other DC superhero movie since Tim Burton’s “Batman.” I’m pretty sure we’ve all thought this: “Suicide Squad” is “The Dirty Dozen” with more makeup and fewer Nazis. “The Dirty Dozen” is not a happy-go-lucky time at the movies either, but it’s an entertaining movie. What’s not to like?  And not one character in this film was as creepy or depressing as the Telly Savalas character in that film.

The 20-something-year old guys in front of me liked it too. They perked right up the minute Margot Robbie appeared on the screen.

I say, you paid to be entertained, so let yourself be entertained and enjoy this movie for what it is.  It’s fun and it has Will Smith being all charming, what else do you want?*

*A dangerous question to ask a critic. They can be quite snide.

The Dark Tower (2017)

 

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I mean, dang, look at this guy! Could he be any cooler? I don’t think so!

Say it ain’t so! Despite my review from last year, Rotten Tomatoes has given this movie only a 16% rating, meaning, it’s certified crappy. I won’t delete my previous review (below) because I don’t like to pretend that I never make mistakes. But I have to say, I’m pretty disappointed— I’ve been looking forward to this movie 😦

From April 2016:

I’ve been looking forward to this one. It’s coming out in 2017, but I just found out that Idris Elba is playing the gunslinger. Therefore, I am ready to rate it: Two thumbs up!

*Disclaimer- the thumbs that are “up” are my own, not Siskel’s or Ebert’s, although I’m pretty sure that if they were alive, they would agree with me. 8/4/2016—I was wrong on that: the guy from rogerebert.com called it “more forgettable than loathsome.” So, not the kind of compliment the filmmakers were hoping for, I assume.

Photo from Celebitchy.

Opinions expressed in the linked article are those of the article’s writer–I just wanted the picture.

Ant-Man

Alright, I understand how they use body doubles and computers to de-age people in movies, the way they did here with Michael Douglas. But there’s one thing I don’t understand. I mean, this is a movie wherein a man shrinks to the size of an ant. But that’s not the most unbelievable plot point. Do they really expect us to believe that Paul Rudd survived in San Quentin Penitentiary? I don’t think so. However, one of my superpowers is suspension of disbelief, so I’m just going to go with it.

On the other hand, he always seems so nice. Nobody is really that mild and nice all the time, right? Maybe he’s secretly some kind of badass brute. That’s probably it. It explains everything, especially how someone who seems so nice has survived in Hollywood all this time.

Anyway, A+ for the fresh take on the old fight on top of a train scene.

Believe it or not, I can’t wait for the next one. Hope we won’t find out that his daughter’s been traumatized for life by the events in this one, because, really…oh, never mind, I forgot it wasn’t real for a second.

Trainwreck, or Any Romantic Comedy Ever

mv5bmtq4mjgwntmyov5bml5banbnxkftztgwmtc1mji0nde-_v1_uy1200_cr6406301200_al_Me watching Trainwreck with my husband:
Me (thinking to myself): “Here comes the totally predictable ending. A grand romantic gesture and a reconciliation, big surprise.”
3 seconds later…
Me: *Casually saunters to bathroom, grabs box of tissues, dabs at tears collecting in corners of eyes, flushes evidence, returns to couch.*

Feel free to substitute name of any RomCom ever for Trainwreck.

Also, who knew John Cena has a sense of humor?

Photo ripped off from IMDB.

Holiday Inn (1942)

Christmas downer: watching an old Christmas movie you remember fondly from your childhood and finding out that it has a scene you forgot about in which the two protagonists get into black face and sing. Thanks a lot Fred Astaire and Bing Crosby.

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Can’t not like Bing Crosby singing “White Christmas” though. Oh, wait a minute, “WHITE” Christmas? The plot thickens.                                                                                    

Image from Mountain Xpress.