Ant-Man

Alright, I understand how they use body doubles and computers to de-age people in movies, the way they did here with Michael Douglas. But there’s one thing I don’t understand. I mean, this is a movie wherein a man shrinks to the size of an ant. But that’s not the most unbelievable plot point. Do they really expect us to believe that Paul Rudd survived in San Quentin Penitentiary? I don’t think so. However, one of my superpowers is suspension of disbelief, so I’m just going to go with it.

On the other hand, he always seems so nice. Nobody is really that mild and nice all the time, right? Maybe he’s secretly some kind of badass brute. That’s probably it. It explains everything, especially how someone who seems so nice has survived in Hollywood all this time.

Anyway, A+ for the fresh take on the old fight on top of a train scene.

Believe it or not, I can’t wait for the next one. Hope we won’t find out that his daughter’s been traumatized for life by the events in this one, because, really…oh, never mind, I forgot it wasn’t real for a second.

Trainwreck, or Any Romantic Comedy Ever

mv5bmtq4mjgwntmyov5bml5banbnxkftztgwmtc1mji0nde-_v1_uy1200_cr6406301200_al_Me watching Trainwreck with my husband:
Me (thinking to myself): “Here comes the totally predictable ending. A grand romantic gesture and a reconciliation, big surprise.”
3 seconds later…
Me: *Casually saunters to bathroom, grabs box of tissues, dabs at tears collecting in corners of eyes, flushes evidence, returns to couch.*

Feel free to substitute name of any RomCom ever for Trainwreck.

Also, who knew John Cena has a sense of humor?

Photo ripped off from IMDB.

Holiday Inn (1942)

Christmas downer: watching an old Christmas movie you remember fondly from your childhood and finding out that it has a scene you forgot about in which the two protagonists get into black face and sing. Thanks a lot Fred Astaire and Bing Crosby.

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Can’t not like Bing Crosby singing “White Christmas” though. Oh, wait a minute, “WHITE” Christmas? The plot thickens. ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†

Image from Mountain Xpress.

Spectre

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Hey, here’s Daniel Craig looking especially James Bondish. Picture ripped off from Mobile Movie Man¬†on WordPress.

My review of Spectre:

1. ¬†The opening credits seem to have been inspired by that hentai octopus stuff. I find that somewhat disturbing. However, it seemed to be consensual octopus stuff, so I guess that’s okay.

2. ¬†I will go see any movie that has Dave Bautista and Andrew Scott as bad guys. Actually, I’ll go see any movie with Andrew Scott.

3. ¬†I think it’s good to participate in traditional American activities like watching guys fight in a helicopter on a traditional American holiday like Veteran’s Day. They were actually British guys, but that’s okay.

4.  I really think it takes more than 12 hours for people to fall in love with each other.

5.¬† I don’t understand how he got in that airplane and got it up in the air so fast. Did I fall asleep for a minute?

Conclusion: This movie was 2 1/2 hours long. I think I should have got a medium rather than a small Coke, because then it might have lasted through the whole movie.

Disclaimer: If you don’t know what hentai octopus stuff is, I will not be held responsible for what happens to your soul if you google it and click on “images.”

Sea Wall (2012)

Well, I’m a big Andrew Scott fan, so I thought I’d check out this film version of a short one-man play by Simon Stephens.

Pros: Extremely well-written and with an amazing performance by Andrew Scott.

Cons: It crushed my soul.

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If you too want to have your soul crushed, I think the only place you can see it is at its website. It’s about 30 minutes long and I think you can rent it or buy it there. To me, it was a pretty mesmerizing 30 minutes and definitely worth the few bucks it cost to see it. Photo came from¬†Anglonerd¬†on WordPress.