Now, if you’re like me, you’ve never seen Hamilton. It’s not about whether you want to see it or not, it’s just about the fact that it’s unavailable, so you don’t even get to decide if you want to see it or not. But, thanks to the wonders of the internet, you have to keep hearing about it. I mean every day someone mentions this damn play and it’s just getting perplexing— I mean, what are you missing?

So after extensive research, by which I mean I spent two minutes googling it and watching one YouTube video because my attention span is not really that long, I have found out for you everything you need to know.

What is it about?

It’s about a guy who’s not throwing away his shot.

Who is the star?

The star is Lin-Manuel Miranda, who is also the play’s creator, and he is so adorable that I want to pat him on the head and give him milk and cookies.

What is the plot?

There’s a lot of singing and dancing, and I think there’s also a duel?

See? Milk and cookies, right?

Also

This guy won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama in 2016, and a MacArthur Genius Grant, and a bunch of Tony Awards, and God knows what-all else, so now I’m pretty impressed. That came from Wikipedia, so it could be incorrect, but still….

Photo from NPR.